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Friday, October 31, 2008

put the past behind 吧. 要化悲愤为力量！(:

leona penned down her thoughts at 5:35 PM

Friday, October 10, 2008

看了两集的《叮当神探》，我觉得那两位姐妹，真的... 让我觉得很意外.

是对是错呢? 或许根本就没有一个确定的答案. 她因为爱他太深,或许已经到了那种无法自拔的地步,居然,把妹妹的尸体砍成几快,然后埋葬. 残忍,但男女之间的爱,真的比得过姐妹情吗?

其实我觉得那位医生还蛮恐怖的.而且,原来整容手术也很诡异耶. 居然可以一模一样地把人的脸变成另外一个人的脸.哈哈,让我想起我小时候看过的一部戏,无头东宫.可整容当然比较实际啦. 我会想说,如果有一天,有个人的脸跟我一模一样那怎么办? 可是,你又不知道在她的脸下, 她真正长得怎么样.好恐怖.

而且,戏中的女主角,她整容变成像她妹妹一样,为的是因为她知道那个男人心里只有她妹妹,没有她. 所以想完全变成她. 有时候,真觉得,爱可以让人不惜一切,甚至在别人眼中不论有多不可思议,或者愚蠢都好,人还是会那样做.

我倒觉得,这部戏,很有趣,因为我没有想过,人其实会做出这种行为.虽然这只是电视剧里的情节,但也蛮发人深省的. (x 她在信中说自己没有后悔过, 而且觉得,能够和她心爱的人渡过两年的甜蜜期, 就算到头来得坐牢,她还是很欣慰自己曾经拥有过幸福. 记得有一次读过一篇文章,说,幸福要好好珍惜,因为不是每个人都可以拥有.很多人,等待幸福,却连到死那天都等不到. 而她,认为自己拥有过,就于愿足以.可是,我又想想,她其实,有真正得到过幸福吗?她假扮她妹妹, 而那个男人也一直以来都把她当成是另外一个女生. 这样,算是自己的幸福吗?

或许,因人而异吧. 但我仍然觉得,狠得下心把妹妹分尸,实在是一种悲剧.曾经形影不离的两姐妹,居然沦落至此.令人,悲.叹.不.已.

leona penned down her thoughts at 1:17 PM

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

i need a "YES"!

leona penned down her thoughts at 8:46 PM

Monday, October 06, 2008

让我慢慢忘记你　
像朝露蒸发阳光底
乾乾净净的心情从此
不再背负思念荆棘
记忆它属於生命
谁能轻易抹去
我只能全部都藏匿
脑海里全是过往情景
我该如何整理
真教人力不从心
这份情感如何还给你
谁能够代替你
我毕竟已付出真情
为什麽世界好不公平
先让我们相遇
又经历太多风雨
午夜梦里
常常回到往昔
梦醒难忍伤心
因为当时有你

i walked to the place today.

it wasn't the first time i went back there.

but it was rather quiet. so i could just, stand there, as though i was staring into blank space. not looking like an idiot to others.

alot of memories appeared in my mind. i could imagine them calling out to me, like they used to.

i could imagine how things looked like once upon a time.

i looked forward to that day every single week. it's like the best day of every week. i never fail to be always so energetic, ready for anything, everything.

i remember i would recall how it felt like, practicing our performance at the side of the room. i practically re-enact the whole thing on my own. silly huh.

but i enjoyed it.

i walked up the staircase towards our "very own toilet". recalled how we used to rush up and change our clothes. recalled. i guess, i'm quite silly.

who'd still be thinking of all these at this point of time? or maybe, i'm just so into it.

i can't help it. really. no matter how others may think i'm retarded? i choose to stay this way.

it's re-happening again.

maybe, it's just me.

haha. i really think this song suits my mood now. (: and the lyrics suit how i feel. especially the bold ones.

i'm talking to myself... in the end.

leona penned down her thoughts at 9:12 PM

Sunday, October 05, 2008

okay! (: here's a livelier post ba. haha.

yesterday was the end of 绿光森林. although the show's quite a long-ago show, but i never watched it before, maybe a bit? but nevertheless, i'm super lucky once again, because i managed to catch the last episode! (HA-HA.) :D

yup, and the last episode was superb! (:

though the 男主角 that i hope to go with the 女主角 didn't end up together, but i really like the part when he said, "不管怎么样, 她永远都是我心目中的公主." 真的好棒哦! like, :O:O:O:O:O:O AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, SO SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET! 这种情谊啊, 才叫真正的爱情. 不是吗？

还有，　当那个女主角问他什么时候要交个女朋友，　他就说，　＂你明知道我喜欢的是谁啊．＂　超棒耶！　:D 虽然是觉得可惜，　他的爱没有被接受之类的，　但是，　我真的觉得，　他这种无私的爱，　实在很伟大．只想付出，　虽然很想拥有，　但依然选择放手，　不去强求，　不介意得不到回报．　真的很有审士风度！　很令人敬佩．　（：　可惜．．．　真实的情况，　不可能会这样．　想想，　难道他一辈子都不结婚吗？　而且，　也不可能结婚了，　还想着她吧？　所以，　虽然无法成为夫妻，　但是有人说过，　朋友的友谊，　比夫妻的感情更长久．　所以啊，　这么想的话，　也不赖吧．　哈哈．　（：　

公主．　能够成为一个人心目中的公主，　应该挺幸福的吧？　（x

如果赵玉香读到这边的话，　肯定会说我发花痴．　无所谓啦，　发花痴是女人的天性！　：D

leona penned down her thoughts at 6:36 PM

as i'm humming the song of the blog, i think it really suits my mood. it suits what i'm thinking now... it suits almost everything. good choice eh? (:

thanks for, just wanting me to be happy. as seen from your blog. at least i guess, that's what you're saying... unless i suck at inference.

我辛苦.

因为得什么都扛在身上. 没有人, 可以真的体会我的感受.

不论她们是泼冷水也好, 有自己的观点, 自己的理由也好, 连什么都不懂的也好. 我觉得, 只有我自己, 可以靠自己.

真的, 就当我不要面对现实吧. 可是, 相反的, 我觉得, 站在你的角度看事儿, 不见得会比较开心, 比较值得. 我真的, 不想因为个人的情绪, 使什么都变得黑暗. 我就是想抹掉所有的黑, 就算有多难, 有多不可思议, 有多离谱, 我也想那样做. 就算你只是出于一番好意也好, 我就是想那样做. 我固执. 就算这只是我一个人的愿望也好, 我也无所谓. 因为只有我, 愿意踏出这一步. 但我仍相信, 他们依然怀念, 依然心里有一团火. 如果这么容易就灭了的话, 那我, 真的. 无-话-可-说.

我不是针对一个人. 不只一个人而已. 所以放心.

很多事情, 或许不是那么多, 就当是两个吧. 或是三个? 无所谓. 总之, 都得自己去面对, 和接受.

我想, 从这些事儿, 我可以学习把忍耐度放宽. 所有的事, 都得忍耐.

有时候, 我真觉得自己像个白痴. 可又明明会变成一个白痴, 还是不由自主地, 使自己变成个白痴.

或许你们听不懂. 无所谓.

今天, 我足足笑了差不多4分钟. straight. 厉害吧? (:

也不知道为什么会一直笑个不停. 又或许我知道.

不说了. 加油吧, 郭艳萍! 就算朋友们不支持你, 我们支持你! 加油!

leona penned down her thoughts at 6:11 PM

Friday, October 03, 2008

today's my parent's 22nd wedding anniversary day. (:

my mum asked me what am i gonna give them as their present.

and i told her, "aren't i you and pa's present already?" lol. so we went sakura and eat dinner.

& i made a very regretful decision. sheesh.

oh well, it didn't really spoil my mood though.

actually, i think. i really need to do something for my family. because. my parents are working very hard with their jobs just to support the family. especially when, we spend quite alot, and my parents try to give us a comfortable life despite all the difficulties that they may face.

i think i probably suck, because i'm very spendthrift. yet... i still demand this, want that etc.

really start to think, i should do something. it's not going to be easy. really. but, i think i can do it.

maybe i shouldn't think too ambitiously yet. i can start from saving my pocket money. this year will be an expensive year because of prom... somemore i bought a new spects, wasting alot of money.

so i gotta earn them back! jiayou ba leona quek! for this family, it's worth it.

happy anniversary day ma, pa. kudos to 22 years of marriage. it'll extend to many many more years okay! <333

leona penned down her thoughts at 10:04 PM

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Firstly, SELAMAT HARI RAYA PUASA! (: & HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY! :D

Lyrics for the song: Semoga Bahagia. (:

Sama-sama maju ke hadapan
Pandai cari pelajaran
Jaga diri dalam kesihatan
Serta sopan-santun dengan kawan-kawan

Dengan hati bersih serta suci
Sama-sama hormat dan berbudi
Jaga tingkah pemuda-pemudi
Adat dan budaya junjung tinggi

Capailah lekas cita-cita pemudi-pemuda
Supaya kita ada harga di mata dunia

Kalau kita lengah serta lupa
Hidup kita sia-sia
Jiwa besar sihat serta segar
Rajin dengan sabar tentu bahagia

Lemah lembut perangai pemudi
Cergas tangkas wataknya pemuda
Suka rela selalu berbakti
Sikap yang pembela dan berjasa

Capailah nama yang mulia pemudi-pemuda
Rajinlah supaya berjaya semoga bahagia

I STILL KNOW HOW TO SING WORHS? :D

haha, remember last time when i was in primary school, we had to use the recorder and play this song for Children's Day. (: cool de neh? haha.

this is a lighter, fun-er version of this song. (: not bad not bad oh! haha.

yup, backtrack to monday. oh dear meeeeeeeee. had some "bad" thing happening, haha. but it's okayyyyy. haha.

yup, then after school went back home first, then went out with li jing and ngik hiong to changi airport.

actually i knew we won't be studying much there, so i was mentally prepared already. lol.

hmmmm... when i got there, i saw li jing with her super cool pose at the drying machine there drying ngik hiong's t-shirt. lol. with her hair let down and she was practically drenched! haha.

NGIK HIONG WAS NO BETTER. and whoa. her pose at the sink was, omg. 经典 man. LOLS~

then li jing and i were like, TAKE PHOTO TAKE PHOTO, LOLLOLLOL. can't stop laughing. hahahaha.

shall not E-L-A-B-O-R-A-T-E further. :D

we talked alot. strangely, i didn't have the urge to post about it. until i read ngik hiong's post.

原来她也会因此而想很多. (no other special meaning)

i've been thinking about it quite alot too...

i guess, i'm really being prejudiced against some of them. they're not completely the way i think they are. i fell into the trap of, once you see their bad points, it's tough not to pick on them and you'll start to ignore their good points.

maybe, i just don't really bother. like, to me? it doesn't really matter. i don't know.

probably cause, like what they say, i'm in the other extreme from them. that's why.

& we started talking about the problems. i guess i'm kind of appalled? and i start to, doubt. but i don't think i should. as a friend, i should believe and trust her.

i guess to me, it doesn't matter if she tells me or not. if she's keeping the truth or whatsoever. because, to me, i take myself as just a friend whom she can always pour her sorrows to. that's all that's important. and i'll just be contented that way. really.

i never really wanted to admit, but i guess, i can't lie to myself. but, i have no right to say anything. and it doesn't matter. i still believe she's still the person that i know. & i want to hang on to that hope. because i believe that 他不会看错人. (:

相信一个人需要勇气吧. 对吗?

我不是在讲自己很伟大，只不过，我想做好朋友应有的本分.

looking at those stuff that reminds me of the past. and i think about what's happening now, my heart is not comfortable. i think it's a sad thing. to say it directly. it's really a sad thing.

but all i want, is to hold on to those memories that we have. please don't contaminate them, because that's all i could ask for. and it's my wish. i can't ask for time to turn back, i can't ask for all of us to be what we used to be like, i can't ask for everything to repeat itself again. all. i could ask for. is. this.

you can say that i'm selfish, but i really, don't want my precious memories to be ruined, just because of emotions of others. it's not worth it.

no matter whether it is going to be fully dark-sided, in my heart, i want it to be always pure. always brightly-lit. always just filled with joy and smiles and laughter and love from everybody.

at least, i want this in my memory, in my world, in my small little world. i don't care if y'all say that i'm dreaming. i'm... lying to myself, i... don't want to face the reality. i really don't care. take it that i am then. take it that i'm naive. but, 越不知道真相，人也越开心. 所以这一次，我愿意当个白痴. (:

i don't want to lose something so precious to me. & i shall, protect it.

lastly, a quote from ngik hiong, "today's an ok day with a nice afternoon and an emo ending." (:

leona penned down her thoughts at 5:59 PM